Avery Strange, Strange Days - 1.01

It’s really all very simple. I think that’s what sums up this pilot. I haven’t read a lot of VS, but comparing this to everything else, it’s the most simple story I have read. No, it’s not a bad thing. Simple means entertainment. Simple means fun. I usually take breaks when reading a script. A little intermission in between act breaks, or even random scenes, sometimes. I didn’t do that with this one. It was that easy to read. There were a few errors, but most had been taking care of. One big one, that made me laugh, actually, was:

“Reese: The meter in 5 and ¾ minutes. That’s got to be some kind of record.”

I really think a turtle could walk a meter in in less than five minutes. I guess Guy – Can I call you Guy? – meant mile. But whatever, it made me laugh. Now on to the the review sections.

Avery: Sarcasm and snark are king. When used at the right moments, it will make your character shine and shine, and that much more fun to read. That being said, I really liked the lead. He seems to be in control of his own life, and extremely self-reliant/independent. It’s a perfect set-up to get him into trouble, which I think will be the case in a lot of the plots. The first two tragedies means that he also comes with some darkness and baggage. So overall, a well rounded character. Then again, he seems to have put both tragedies behind him by the end of the pilot. Let’s hope not.

Avery and Jane: They have great chemistry throughout the script. Every scene they were together had me pretty much smiling, even laughing at times. The only thing that got to me was how quickly they made up. It seemed a little forced that they would just pick things up after both, but mostly Jane, were so bitter. Plus, how much of a coincidence is it that Jane had a sister who was killed by a monster-dog? But once I got passed that, it was smooth sailing. Them, together, was the highlight of the script.

Overall Plot: One thing that worries is me, is that this series is will have to much stand alone issues. For a VS, I feel that arcs are much more important. Also, the ending of the episode didn’t really leave me panting for more. It was a good story, and any questions raised where quickly answered in flashback, but it seemed too closed at the end. So I guess it was a good quick fix to put the last scene in. Still, I wish you would have left some things open.

Supporting Characters: They can be a bitch, at least for me. I felt like there wasn’t enough to them. Aside from Jane, who got good script time (my version of screen time), I felt that everyone else was sort of just bland. A good scene showing more to Dad or Reese would have been good.

Supernatural Plot: I’m a little on-the-fence on how much I liked it. I think it was a good idea to make it a quick fix because you had to introduce other things. Still, how does Avery get this vision from the cup ala Phoebe Halliwell? Then, how does he automatically know that Mr. Lawson is the older kid? Sure, it doesn’t take a PI to figure it out, but it just seemed like you were trying to get it over with.

Avery Mars: I kept reading that this reminded them people of Veronica Mars with a supernatural angle. Well, I’ve never seen V. Mars (hides), but this show actually made me want to go and watch. So good job on that.

So in all, I really enjoyed this script. It was a story that I could easily follow and didn’t find myself wondering so many questions. Some mistakes and a bit of contrivance, but I’ll overlook it. Seems like a good time to get staffed on another show! I hope this gets picked up.